The funniest jokes on the net

Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?! AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked "intellectual leadership." He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Wal…

Alabama: At Least We're not Mississippi Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong! Arizona: But It's a Dry Heat Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everthing California: As Seen on TV Colorado: If You Do…

What's the difference between Al Gore and Elvis? Some say Elvis is still alive.

Bill Clinton broke the 11th commandment. ''Thou shalt not use thy rod on thy Staff''

In Washington D.C. they ran out Tickle Me Elmo dolls, so now they have Fondle Me Packwood dolls.

What do you call someone in the White House who is honest, ethical, intellectual, law abiding, and truthful? A tourist.

Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Zero. He only screws interns.

Why did Osama bin Laden cross the road? He thought he saw the American flag, so he ran for his life.

What's the definition of lawyer? The larval form of a politician.

When Charles deGaulle decided to retire from public life, the British ambassador and his wife threw a gala dinner party in his honor. At the dinner table, the Ambassador's wife was talking with Madame…

    Dick Cheney, President Bush and his father are flying on Air Force One. Dick looks at Dubya, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $100.00 bill out the window right now and make one person…

Q: What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad? A: Senator.

Q: What is the difference between George Washington, Richard Nixon, and Bill Clinton? A: Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Clinton doesn't know the difference!

President Clinton opened doors for future presidents. Now not only will there be a First Lady and First Children, but also First Ho.

Chelsea had the most exciting news. She burst into the room shouting, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news! Nick asked me to marry him. He is like the biggest hunk in Washington. We are supposed to get…

You are stuck in a foxhole with a cobra, Saddam Hussein, a lawyer, and only two bullets in your gun. What do you do? Shoot the lawyer twice.

Q: What do you do if you see a politician walking down the road with half a head? A: Stop laughing and reload.

If Ted Kennedy, Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood, and Bill Clinton all had a spelling contest, which one would win? Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that harass is one word.

At a recent rally Bob Dole was asked if he wore boxers or briefs. He replied, 'Depends.'

What's the difference between Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton? Ronald Reagan was an actor before he was President.

Did you hear Lorena Bobbit was almost killed in a traffic accident? Some dick cut her off.

What does Bill Clinton say to Hillary Clinton after having sex? "I will be home in 20 minutes, dear."

Whitehouse aide to Clinton: "What are we gonna do about the new abortion bill, Mr. President?" Clinton's reply : "Shhhhh - just pay it."

Bill Clinton on Monica Lewinsky's deposition: "I didn't tell her to lie in her deposition, I said to lie in that position."

Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? To keep his ankles warm!

What is the most dangerous thing in Washington D.C.? An intern with a chipped tooth.

Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and the Secretary of Defense all wanted to go to Oz, to visit the Wizard of Oz. Bill looked at Al and asked him why he wanted to go. Al said that he needed a brain, a…

The ability to tell a person to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip!

How Bill and Hillary really met: They both dated the same girl in college.

Why did Senator Hillary Clinton decide run for office? She'd already been President for 8 years.