Technology jokes → Tech Support
Just in case you think you are TC (technologically challenged). The following is an excerpt taken from a Wall Street Journal article:
1.Compaq is considering changing the
command “Press Any Key” to “Press Return Key” because of the flood of
calls asking where the “Any” key is.
2.AST technical support had a caller
complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned
out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
3.Another Compaq technician received
a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn’t read word processing files from his
old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem,
it was found that the customer had labeled the diskettes, then rolled them into the
typewriter to type the labels.
4.Another AST customer was asked to
send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the
customer along with photocopies of the floppies.
5.A Dell technician advised his
customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer
asked the tech to hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing
the room to close the door to his room.
6.Another Dell customer called to
say he couldn’t get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting,
the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in
front of the monitor screen and hitting the “send” key.
7.Yet another Dell customer called
to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub
with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and
washing them individually.
8.A Dell technician received a call
from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was “bad and an
invalid”. The tech explained that the computer’s “bad command” and
“invalid” responses shouldn’t be taken personally.
9.A confused caller to IBM was
having troubles printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it
“couldn’t find printer”. The user had also tried turning the computer screen to
face the printer – but that his computer still couldn’t “see” the printer.
10.An exasperated caller to Dell
Computer Tech Support couldn’t get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the
computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power
button. Her response, “I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
happens.” The “foot pedal” turned out to be the computer’s mouse.
11.Another customer called Compaq
tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn’t work. She said she unpacked the
unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When
asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked “What power
switch?”
12.True story from a Novell NetWire
SysOp:
Caller:
“Hello, is this Tech Support?”
13.Another IBM customer had troubles
installing software and rang for support. “I put in the first disk, and that was OK.
It said to put in the second disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it said to
put in the third disk – I couldn’t even fit it in…” The user hadn’t realized that
“Insert Disk 2” meant to remove Disk 1 first.
14.In a similar incident, a customer
had followed the instructions for installing software. The instructions said to remove the
disk from it’s cover and insert into the drive. The user had physically removed the casing
of the disk and wondered why there were problems.
As Ripley would say, believe it or
not!
