The funniest jokes on the net

MICROSOFT AND THE AUTO INDUSTRY

At a recent computer expo Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1000 miles to the
gallon”. In response GM issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics.

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day 2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this. 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you have to reinstall the engine. 5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought “CarNT”, but then you would have to buy more seats. 6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads. 7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single General Protection Fault warning light. 8. New seats would force everyone to have the same sized arse. 9. The airbag system would ask, “are you sure?” before deploying.

10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out
and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door
handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of
Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they
neither need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would
immediately cause the car?s performance to diminish by 50 percent or
more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the
Justice Dept.
12. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn
to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate
in the same manner as the old car.
13. You?d have to press the Start button to turn the engine off.